When to wear maternity clothes??

Yes, I have bought maternity clothes. I took the gift card I got from my Dad for Xmas. Didn't strap the budget and it's helping me realize this has really happened.

So I ask all the ladies out there.....When did you start wearing maternity clothes? I know they tell you "normal" women don't show 'til 4-6 months but come on! The smallest baby produced on my side of the family was a little under 9lbs, we make BIG babies!! Big babies = showing early. I was a bit over weight before I got pregnant due to my Celiac so I had a little gut to start with but it's widened and is getting firm. I feel guilty when it hangs out or is noticable. Don't get me wrong on that one. It's just hard when all my research says it's too early to show and my body says "Get out of the way, we're growing!!"

All my pre-preg jeans were in the wash the other day so all I had were maternity jeans. I throw on a pair and did my errands. They were a little big so I put a bella band on over the waist band and it worked great. I should mention that I did lose weight due to morning sickness and very healthy daily diet change.

Any thoughts on this?? When did you start wearing maternity clothes or your thoughts on the concept?

To understand

To understand is something hard to do for most people. To find compasion is almost impossible for most people. To feel empathy is unheard of for most people. To love unconditionally doesn't exist for most people. But to understand is possible for everyone. It's the power of choice that holds most back. Make the best choice for all people whose lives you touch.

I feel different today. My thoughts seem to be coming back to me. Almost like the baby has decided to give me a short break. I don't know how long I get this break so I'm taking advantage of it today. I've eaten a few normal food items today and haven't "refunded" them. Just to eat something with flavor is refreshing. I don't know why I feel different but I'll take it without question.

I've taken some time today to play on my blog and catch up on others. I'm still new to the blogging experience but I'm trying. I really hope to get more involved with my blogging and more involved with my blogger friends. A big thank you goes out to those great people that stop by!

I'm off to continue enjoying being different. I got my Bella Bands yesterday and I'm wearing one right now, I just love the support. Trying little pregnant items here and there is helping my thoughts transition nice and slow. Sometimes it takes a little time for my brain to catch up to my body.

1st Ultrasound- He/She's really in there!!!!

8w5d

There's my baby, what a cute little glob!! I said I'll believe it when I see it......I got to see the baby and it's heartbeat, wow!! It was bouncing around as well so we know it's there and it's alive! We're still in shock so it was like walking on uncharted ground. I got all teary eyed and Big Guy just said,"Wow, see it's there". Haha, we sound like goofs :)

All the prep and reading couldn't have helped me express myself, I was speechless. To the people that know me, that never happens. I'm still in shock today. I bought prenatal vitamins immediately afterwards, no more separate vitamins. I took one before bed last night and I think the B6 helped my nausea a little bit and my mood seems to be a little improved today.

In all I think seeing the baby affected my overall feeling of well being and attitude. I just feel different today then I have for the last 2 months.

It's hard to imagine I'm already rounding up on week 9! I think the key is to keep yourself busy. Sitting there bored tends to let your mind wonder and that's when I worry. So I've taken the proactive position of making myself busy the second my mind starts to wonder. Being pregnant is scary enough, you don't need to be adding other stresses.

I got my Bella Bands in the mail today. I got free shipping and a free, very nice, lotion for buying 2 bands. I stared at them a while and wondered how crazy I'd be if I put one on now. I'll admit, I also googled to see when other women started wearing theirs, haha. But...I've got the Turquoise one on and I love it!! I'm very bloated and this bella band is giving me extra support and making me more comfortable. Just that little bit can raise you feeling of well being. This lotion is the best smelling lotion ever!

I'm off to do a little pregnancy research, only reading articles about what's going on with my body at this stage.

Confidence and logic!

My 1st prenatal appt is tomorrow morning. My OB's office doesn't do any physical exam at this appt. This is just for going over my medical history and talking about risks and things. It's hard because each person doc and pregnancy is different...I have to keep reminding myself of this. I get the paranoid people that freak out and start saying I should have already had an ultrasound by now. I think back to when I was born, my Mother or even my Grama. With most of that you only went to a doctor is you had a major problem or if you decided to deliver in a hospital. I think that thought slows down my hormone influenced emotions. Only you can know what's best for you and your baby. Trust yourself and you emotions!

Always remember that each person is different and each pregnancy. Just because something happened to your friend's friend a million years ago doesn't mean it's going to happen to you. This thought also gives me a sane feeling :) I'm doing everything in my power to ensure a healthy, happy pregnancy. I must find safety in that and to know that this baby will be our "dream" baby if he/she wants to be. Think sticky :)
Can you tell I'm newly pregnant and nervous?

I can't be the only one that feels this lost.

(6-1/2 weeks preg)
I know most people might think I'm nuts but I feel lost right now. I'm excited and scared all at the same time, only my IF friends could totally understand that feeling. You try so hard for so long and when it happens you don't know how to live that different life. You could say the IF life is a bit like a prisoner's life. When their release date comes close they fear getting out and yet that's all they want. When they get out they have no idea where to start. Make sense?? No idea why I had to compare that to prison life but at times IF feels like a prison.

I think the waiting from a positive HPT to the first ultrasound feels like a millennium right now. I get worried that I'm not doing something right or wonder if I could be doing something better. Having mood swings doesn't help my thought process that's for sure :) I'm normally not moody nor do I get PMS, I think my body just needs to adjust to the hormone change. But I hate being sassy in the mouth and then feeling just horrible a little while afterwards. I think certain things don't help the mood swings. Here are a few things not to say to a newly pregnant women that, literally, worked her butt off to get pregnant:

1. "See, I told you it would happen if you just stopped thinking about it or trying."

2. "By this time next year you'll be calling me wondering why you wanted kids."

3. "It only gets worse."

4. "Are you sure this time?"

Those are just the first 4 that I don't need to hear again, haha.

I think that a "normal" pregnant women and an IF pregnant women are a world apart in their journeys and the feelings those journeys create. I'm not saying one is right and the other is wrong or that one is harder than the other. I've just noticed so many differences in the journeys. I hope over time people can start to understand that not all pregnancies are the same and just because you're pregnant doesn't mean that you automatically feel a certain way.

So I embrace this long lost gift with equal amounts of joy and confusion. By no means do I mean to sound negative or fearful......I just feel lost :) Thanks for letting me share!

Oh boy....or girl??

So I notice I've been feeling out of sorts and just a little "off" so I decide to take a HPT for kicks...well the pics of that joke can be seen on the previous blog entry. I actually had to open a HPT pic gallery for the brand I had, guess I just couldn't believe it. So I took a couple and then sent my DH to Wal-mart for a couple store bought ones. Well the picture of one can be viewed to the right. Oh my!!!

So.....we're pregnant!!!!!!! It's only been 10 days since I took those HPT's and I'm still not sure how to feel. I'm excited but as most of you IF ladies can understand, I'm just a tad nervous and a little scared. You try for so long that when it does happen you're in denial.

March 14th 2011 would've marked exactly 3 years of trying. We were given a 5% chance of conceiving on our own if we were lucky. Keep in mind that we only did the BD once on the day of ovulation, no sex 1 week before and 1 week after. To be honest I was actually not even charting, had kind of given up and was preparing for IVF. I was trying to figure out how I could save enough money that we could do 1 IVF cycle in the beginning months of 2012.

Is this really happening? How am I supposed to feel? I'm still in denial and I feel lost at times. I'm afraid to get too happy and it's helped to tell only our Mother's and siblings so there's not many people asking questions or getting excited. Unfortunately our news was only taken well by 2 people and not so well by 6 people. (Yes, the progesterone is making me a little sensitive.) I guess I'll just have to rely on myself to maintain positive...and my IF ladies of course, I love you all!!

I'm just taking this one day at a time. If this baby decides to stay we still have a long way to go (due date is August 26th 2011). I'd rather just focus on eating healthy and doing the best I can to have a healthy pregnancy. Which means trying to eat and not throw it up immediately :) I really look forward to your continued support and understanding. I put a little prayer out there that this baby decides to stay and that I get relaxed about being pregnant. I thank you endlessly!

Hmmmm, uhhhhh........I might be pregnant.......

You read that right. DH & I are fast approaching 3 years of trying. Please keep in mind that we were only given a 5% chance of conceiving naturally (MFI) and that's if we were lucky. Well.........The past couple of days I've been having a heck of a time staying awake and I'm a person that NEVER gets tired. My breasts hurt so bad that I'm ready to sell them on the black market and I feel like a bloated hot air balloon. Oh, my period is also a couple days late to name a few weird things. I've had preg symptoms many times before so I just blew it off but by yesterday afternoon I could barely stay awake. I don't get tired, I can't even remember the last time I took a nap.

Over a year ago I ordered the OPK and Preg test strips online, I couldn't afford to keep buying the ones at the store. Don't worry, I made sure they hadn't expired before using them today. I did a test strip at around 10am and I actually saw a light pregnancy line show up. HUH????? So I waited a couple hours and took another one, you know how that goes :) Well, the line showed up again except a little darker. Hmm..........

I'm 15 DPO so I pulled up the photo gallery of the same brand of HPT that I use and also on the same DPO. Well................my HPTs fit right in and were even darker than some of them.

After trying for a number of years and frequently experiencing false preg symptoms that turned into nothing.......I'm a little baffled right now. I'm waiting for DH to get done working and having him pick me up some fancy EPT's at the store. I'm actually scared to see what they'll say. When you try and pray for so long you just start to believe it'll never happen. Could this wish have been heard? Could we have lucked out in the fertility lottery? Could I be getting the best Xmas present of all time?

I've posted pics of the HPTs a couple hours after taking them. The lines were a little darker right away and my flash really washed out the depth of color but I just wanted to share them. Opinions and thoughts are very welcomed!