I can't be the only one that feels this lost.

(6-1/2 weeks preg)
I know most people might think I'm nuts but I feel lost right now. I'm excited and scared all at the same time, only my IF friends could totally understand that feeling. You try so hard for so long and when it happens you don't know how to live that different life. You could say the IF life is a bit like a prisoner's life. When their release date comes close they fear getting out and yet that's all they want. When they get out they have no idea where to start. Make sense?? No idea why I had to compare that to prison life but at times IF feels like a prison.

I think the waiting from a positive HPT to the first ultrasound feels like a millennium right now. I get worried that I'm not doing something right or wonder if I could be doing something better. Having mood swings doesn't help my thought process that's for sure :) I'm normally not moody nor do I get PMS, I think my body just needs to adjust to the hormone change. But I hate being sassy in the mouth and then feeling just horrible a little while afterwards. I think certain things don't help the mood swings. Here are a few things not to say to a newly pregnant women that, literally, worked her butt off to get pregnant:

1. "See, I told you it would happen if you just stopped thinking about it or trying."

2. "By this time next year you'll be calling me wondering why you wanted kids."

3. "It only gets worse."

4. "Are you sure this time?"

Those are just the first 4 that I don't need to hear again, haha.

I think that a "normal" pregnant women and an IF pregnant women are a world apart in their journeys and the feelings those journeys create. I'm not saying one is right and the other is wrong or that one is harder than the other. I've just noticed so many differences in the journeys. I hope over time people can start to understand that not all pregnancies are the same and just because you're pregnant doesn't mean that you automatically feel a certain way.

So I embrace this long lost gift with equal amounts of joy and confusion. By no means do I mean to sound negative or fearful......I just feel lost :) Thanks for letting me share!