2 week wait

Well, I found what little patience I had and waited 2 weeks before posted on my blog again. I am MORE than happy to announce that baby #2 is sticking in there!!!! To say that I'm baffled and blown away would be the world's biggest understatement. Here are a couple facts as to why I'm baffled:
- Less than %5 chance of conceiving on our own
- Period ended on day 3 and I ovulated on day 5
- Didn't do the baby dance until after I ovulated and Ovacue monitor said I was low fertility.

Those are the first 3 that I could think of. Just baffling. But at the same time and just so happy :) I never imagined I'd be boosting that I was pregnant let alone pregnant for the 2nd time. Amazing!

Just because I'm a nervous Nelly I decided to go ahead and have an early ultrasound done. I just had to see a little baby in there to know this really was happening. So my midwife sent me to an OB that does ultrasounds for her clients.
We got there early like how they asked and then we proceeded to wait for 1 & 1/2 hours. Only 1 other person was called back in the time frame. So by the time we got called back my nerves were almost shot, I was starving and had to pee super bad. The nurse was kind enough but when she asked a question she'd proceed to give me multiple choice answers instead of just letting me tell her the answer. She'd ask me what the date of my last period was and then when I'd start answering she'd start throwing out all kinds of dates like I was only allowed to pick one. Can you tell I was irritated? haha. The hard part is that I have to go off of my ovulation date instead of my last period because I ovulated less than 2 days after my period. So I'm trying to tell the nurse that. I go into detail and then I realize that I'm so used to talking IF and testing everything that most "normal" women have no idea what I'm talking about. So after my huge explanation she looks at me and says, "So you don't know when your last period was?". GRRRRRRRR. Please keep in mind that I was being exceedingly patient and calm. I explain again how and why we'll be using my ovulation date and I even tell her when I'm due. Needless to say she still didn't listen and went ahead and put my ovulation date down as my period. So instead of being due December 16th I'm now due December 30th in their records.
I get disrobed and sit my naked bum on the exam table with that stupid paper table cloth that never cooperates. haha. Doctor finally comes in almost a half hour later. He was nice enough but from the get go he wasn't listening to me. Like when he inserted the wand baby came up instantly on the monitor. I get all choked up and keep asking, "Is that baby?" He didn't answer and finally I had to look at him and touch his arm and ask again before he'd answer. So now I've got tears just streaming down my cheeks :) My little baby that I was never supposed to have is really in there and dancing around happily. He turned on the sound and time froze. That little heart was just pump, pump, pumping! 176 bpm!

So the doctor does the measuring and evaluating. He begins to tell me how my midwife & I have my due date wrong. He says that I'm due Dec 25th instead of Dec 30th. I tell him how I'm really due Dec 16th and I let him know about my ovulation day and why we're using that date instead. He told me ovulation monitors aren't reliable so I probably have it wrong. My due date is Xmas, end of story. Hmmmmm. At this point I was still floating on cloud 9 so I didn't put up too much of a fuss. He had that 'I'm a doctor, I know more' hat on and I don't handle that well. Last time a doctor did that I told them off and went home and had my baby, haha. This doctor even pulled out the wheel thingy and tried showing me when I was due, totally throwing out my ovulation day. I have a very hard time when people don't listen :)
I looked at my husband who just gave me the look like "Monica, just let it go", thanked the doc and got a pic of my baby. I was pretty upset about that due date stuff. You know your pregnant when you obsess over stuff like that ;) I emailed my midwife and she told me know to worry about it. We'd get it all figured out. And that is why I LOVE having a midwife!!
Here is baby #2 happy in the womb. Yolk sac is still helping baby out.

So I'm still walking on air and happy as can be. I did go ahead and make an appointment for another early ultrasound due to the due date mix up. The doctor suggested it because, "Since you miscarried before we can still lost the pregnancy in the 8th, 9th and 10th week of pregnancy". Yeah, he said that to me. I was pretty upset about the due date stuff but there's nothing to worry about. What matters is that baby is in there and doing fine and my midwife and I will get it all straightened out. I only see this doctor for the few ultrasounds I'll get and nothing else. Phew!

I need to sign off now and get my day rolling but thanks for letting me share. I'm beyond thrilled!

Far past time for an update

Once again I wonder where to begin. It's been a VERY long time since I wrote in my blog. I know barely anyone reads it but I always feel better getting stuff off my chest and sharing my experiences. I know other peoples blogs did wonders for my outlook and helped raise my optimism when things got very hard. I'm hoping my blog can help at least one person get a little hope and know that amazing things can happen to normal people.

I see my last post ended with my baby at 35 weeks. Immediately after I posted that entry I went to the ER with preterm labor. The put me in triage and hooked me up to a bunch of machines. What I gathered was that I had had a gall bladder attack. I kept telling all the nurses that I was having mild contractions. They blew me off and told me it wasn't possible, that I didn't know what contractions felt like. Hmmmm. So I just paid attention to them and would turn and watch them spike on the monitor when I felt one. I told the nurses once again and once again I got patted on the head and told I was over reacting. So I grabbed the graph paper, held it out and said, "Then what the hell are all these spikes?". Yeah, I was ticked at that point. So their reaction was, "Oh my god....you're actually having contractions". Grrrrrrr. They ended up hooking me up to a couple IV bags due to my severe morning sickness. I felt a little better after that. Then they began telling me that I was going to have surgery to remove my gall bladder or a c-section right then and there......WHAT?!?!?!? I'll cut to the chase and just say that I sweet talked them out of both procedures and went home several, several hours later. I was pissed and refused to be treated like that ever again! I promptly began researching home births and found a highly regarded midwife in my area. We signed with her on Monday afternoon and I was in full blown labor first thing Wednesday, 15 days before my due date. I had planned a water birth but my labor progressed faster than expected not giving us time to set up the pool. Oops. I did end up pushing for a long time but that was partly due to my daughter having her head tilted and a hand up by her face for most of her travels. hehe. But eventually she was born and our long awaited baby was finally here! All 8 lbs 9oz 20-1/2 inches of her. I can't remember ever feeling more content and happy. Everything was perfect! We ended up running into non-stop breastfeeding problems which resulted in a low milk supply that could not be improved no matter what I did. And I did everything! However I did go on to nurse her until she was 14 months old using a SNS (supplemental nursing system).

About 3 months ago I started having very strong pregnancy sypmtoms. I got so excited! I took 1 HPT a day for 9 days straight and never got a positive. Soon after I was standing in my living room and I broke out in a cold sweat, got all sorts of anxiety and a very sharp pain in my belly. This all lasted less than 15 mins but it was intense enough that I started to go get my keys to head to the hospital. All of a sudden it all went away and so did all of my pregnancy symptoms. I can only conclude that I miscarried. Broke my heart!! For some odd reason I ovulated 4 days after my period ended. I use an Ovacue fertility monitor and it started showing that I'd be high fertility during my period and then I did confirm ovulation with the vaginal sensor. Weird! So the following month I ovulated only 3 days after my period ended. I was still broken hearted over the miscarriage so I actually avoided having sex the days up to and including the day I ovulated. First time I remember avoiding ovulation, haha.
So I'm relaxing on a Saturday night and I decide that I'm going to call my OB first thing Monday morning to talk with her about my wacky ovulation/periods. I pull up my chart and see that my period is 2 days late. Hmmm. Well, there's no way I'm preggers and I feel fine so I figure I'll just go ahead and use my last HPT so that I can tell the OB's office "no" when they ask if I'm pregnant. Well..............I pee in a cup and dip the stick. Before I'm even done soaking the stick there are 2 frickin' lines!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so confused. I had this really baffled look on my face. So I barely pull my shorts and underwear on and find my husband. I hand him the test and say, "What does this mean? How is this even possible?" hehehe.

So I sit here at almost 8 weeks pregnant with baby #2 after being told we had less than a 5% chance to conceive on our own. I'm happy as can be but I'm also very nervous about miscarrying again. We still haven't told anyone except for our midwife. Just don't want to explain it if we lose the pregnancy. I was able to get an early ultrasound scheduled but it's not until May 13th. I'll be 9 weeks along. Darn OB will be out of town until then. Maybe that's a sign? I keep telling myself that no matter what I do or don't do this baby will do what is best for itself. I have to keep faith in that. I'm taking awesome care of myself and being careful. Once I get the u/s sound and I can see/hear it's heart beating I'll calm down and it'll start setting in that we're going to have another baby. But until then it's hard not to be nervous something will happen again.

Thanks for everyone for reading my blog again! It feels good to vent :)