To say that time flies fast is an understatement! Most women complained and whined to me how I'll hate being pregnant, how LONG it last, blah, blah, blah. I guess I was/am too darn thankful to whine and quite honestly I've definitely dealt with worse. I've been in pre-term labor for over 2 weeks and had IV fluids due to dehydration and I've still felt worse. Bring it on baby, I love you no matter what you do! :)
I've been confronting some strange emotions lately. I've had them since the beginning and they've only gotten stronger as I've progressed and the mother bear in me has started to develop. My overnight trip to the triage unit definitely made a strong impact on my emotions and feelings. I felt like I was being treated as a sick person not a pregnant person. I was being viewed as broken and all they were trying to do was figure out what medications and interventions they could do with me. Having a baby is a natural thing that a women's body was built to do!!!!! I went to triage because my husband kindly asked me to get checked out. It took every ounce of my being not to pull out that stupid IV and just leave, I've done it before. But I stayed for my husband and it reminded him of how tough I am :)
So, in a surprising turn of events I have decided (at 36 weeks along) to have a Home Water Birth. I want to work with my body and be in tune and in control at times. I want to remember my 1st child's birth. I want to avoid episiotomies and a probable c-section. I want to avoid the unnecessary medical interventions that would only scare me and prolong/stop my labor. I want to know that I can trust my body and what it tells me. I want to have a greater connection with DH during our baby's birth. I want to be at home where I'm comfortable with my own bed, shower and my dogs. I want to be in charge of the greatest moment of my life, not a team of medical staff. I want to prove to myself that I CAN do this and I deserve the happiness it will bring me. I want to overcome my anxieties by proving mind over matter. I want to do this my way! I want my baby to come into this world happy and not sacred to pieces. I want my baby to be treated as the precious gift it is and not a pin cushion to be handled roughly.
Get the idea?? haha. I've had 9 months to lament this and I could even say I've had 31 years to decide. I just can't put my faith, my body and the life of my child into the hands of a medical staff I've never met before. This is MY baby and I've going to look out for both of us.
My decision has not been etched into stone yet but I feel more comfortable with the idea with each passing second. The midwife I've chosen has come highly recommended by my friends and one of which is using her now and is due less than 2 weeks before me!
We will be going to my OB appt on Monday and we'll see what I discuss with her. Then on Tuesday we have our first consult appt with our midwife. I'm nervous and excited all at the same time!
Please note that we are looking at a baby over 9lbs. It has been gaining 1 pound per week instead of the typical 1/2 lb. At 35 weeks baby was already weighing in at 7.2 lbs, that's in the 80th percentile. We knew we'd have a 9+lber but it's nice to be able to prove that to the doctors. I'll post some of the 35 pics.
At this point in the game you never know what I'll post next ;) hehe.
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